Standing Up for Yourself with Love
In a world where being nice and helpful is often seen as the best way to be, it can feel kind of rebellious to say no and put yourself first. But more and more people are embracing what they call their “villain era” – a time when they stop trying to please everyone and start taking care of themselves.
But why call it the “villain era”? Why compare it to something bad? Well, it’s because making this change can feel like going against what we’re used to. For a long time, many of us have put others before ourselves, even when it’s not good for us. But now, we’re saying it’s okay to take care of ourselves too. Although in doing so, it can prove to be a challenge for most simply because it is so out of character. In such cases, people entering their so called villain era may receive a lot of pushback and resistance from the people closest to them, especially if those people have benefited in some way from them having a lack of boundaries or assertion.
Don’t get me wrong – embracing your “villain era” doesn’t mean you stop caring about others. It’s about finding a balance between looking out for yourself and being kind to others. It’s about realizing that it’s okay to set boundaries and take care of your own needs. I think perhaps we need to look deeper into the need to categorize ourselves as villains to help make such a change. Is it because it feels evil to put ourselves first? Has society engrained in us the concept of self-love=selfish? Have we fallen for this? If yes, perhaps it’s time we re-evaluate what we take into account when it comes to the concepts society tries to push on us especially if it leads to harmful consequences.
So why do we call it “villainy”? Maybe it’s because going against the norm feels a bit scary. We’ve been taught that it’s selfish to put ourselves first. But what if it’s actually a good thing? What if it’s about saying we matter too? Also, realize that to be assertive we actually do still care about others but this time we are also actually making room for ourselves as well. That is the beauty of assertiveness. It is neither evil nor selfish. Think about it, when was the last time you said yes to yourself at the expense of saying no to something else? Don’t you think it’s about time?
Calling ourselves villains helps us see setting boundaries in a new light. It gives us permission to say no when we need to, without feeling guilty. It gives us the courage to do what’s right for us, even if others don’t agree. I would however like to challenge you to try to do so without casting yourself in the role of a villain and instead see yourself in a new light. The light of self-love, self-compassion, self-care, and see how that actually feels? This way we can stop the narrative of people being evil whenever they set boundaries. Remember, if a person makes you feel miserable for setting boundaries, then it’s a sign they SHOULD be there in the first place.
Embracing your “villain era” can be a chance to grow and learn. It pushes us to face our fears and stand up for ourselves. It helps us see that we’re worthy of respect and love – from others, but most importantly, from ourselves. It’s even more of a challenge to put yourselves out there with no apologies and put yourself first at times when it counts.
So, next time you’re hesitating to set boundaries or speak up for yourself, remember this – embracing your “villain era” isn’t about being bad. It’s about being true to yourself and standing up for what you believe in. It’s about embracing who you are and refusing to apologize for it. And in the end, you might just find that being a “villain” isn’t so bad after all.
In conclusion, the “villain era” represents a powerful shift in mindset and behavior, one that prioritizes self-respect and self-care over the expectations of others. By embracing our “villain” identity, we reclaim our agency and autonomy, setting the stage for personal growth, empowerment, and fulfillment. So let us embrace our inner villains, and step boldly into the fullness of who we are.
